Day Job

I work for a call center that takes calls from all over the United States. And let me tell you, customers can say the oddest things.

Our headphones have special noise canceling mics so the customer won’t hear our coworkers talking to their customers, or random banter between agents. Our customers don’t have noise canceling equipment and we hear everything. Sometimes more than they want us to hear.

A surprisingly large number of American’s need 9volt batteries for their smoke alarms. A scary percentage of those don’t realize that is why the alarm is chirping at them.

Then there is the fun relay calls. A wife/husband/friend in the background is telling them what to say and the agent hears everything twice. It’s especially funny when the person on the phone changes the background person’s message to be more polite or politically correct. Background speaker, “Tell them if they don’t help us right *&)v now we will *&)^ @$^! And then they’ll be sorry.” On the phone, “If we can’t get this fixed we’ll cancel our service.”

From thundering kids, and conversations said around a mouth full of food, we get it all and are good at adapting. But please, please don’t take us into the bathroom with you. But if you do, at least wash your hands.